HOW TO DO A BAR/BAT MITZVAH
Bar/Bat Mitzvahs are probably the easiest parties to perform at. Some of these parties can be more expensive than some weddings, but don’t let that bother you. Be ready to give your best (just like you do at all your parties). Bar Mitzvah (BOY) or Bat Mitzvah (GIRL) signifies at age 13 (Usually) that this boy/girl is passing from childhood to adulthood. In some cases your client might NOT want some or all of the Traditional activities associated with a Bar/Bat Mitzvah done at their affair, so it is good to ask them first what they want. If you are really lucky it will be just a party or record hop. It is really important that when you talk to your client that you know what you are talking about. So here is what you need to know.
Introductions: Usually after the cocktail hour, and before the blessing. The DJ Will introduce The Parents and the Bar/Bat Mitzvahs brothers and sisters (if any) and then The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Themselves. Sometimes Grandparents can be included too.
Blessing: The Blessing of bread. Motzi (Pronounced: HA-Moat-sea) and wine Kiddish (Pronounced: Kid-ish). The Blessing of the bread & wine is always combined & called just MOTZI. This blessing is usually done by the child’s Father, Grandfather, or Rabbi. Traditionally done after the introductions and before the dinner. It is the DJs job to get everyone’s attention for the blessing.
Toast: The toast is usually given by the Host (Father). It welcomes & thanks everyone for coming to the event. It is a good idea to remind the client of this on your client call. Traditionally done right after the Blessing.
Candle lighting Ceremony: Usually happens right after the toast but can take place after dinner. In some cases the DJ does the announcing in others the child calls up the people. The ceremony requires members of the child’s family & close friends, light 1 to 11 candles on the cake. The 12th & 13th candles are reserved for the child’s parents & peace or those who could not be here (deceased). Each candle can be lit by 1 person or a group of people. The order should be ascending representing the closeness to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. For example friends of the family & aunts and uncles are generally first to light the candles while grandparents, brothers, sisters & best friends wait till the end. Background music for the ceremony can include a long up-beat instrumental or even the traditional candle lighting medley, or sometimes you must use a song for each candle. It would be a good idea to create a CD of these songs in order. After all the candles have been lit, Dim the lights & sing Happy Bar or Bat Mitzvah just like happy birthday but change the words. Then have the child blow out the Candles. Now is an Excellent time to start a HORA (Hava-Nagila) to get the crowd up & dancing. During this time you can call 4 strong men to help lift the child on a chair and parade them around the dance floor.
Parent Dance: The child might want to dance with their mother or father. Either they will pick a song or have you suggest one. Sunrise sunset from fiddler on the roof is a great Jewish father daughter dance, and for the mother son you could suggest Bette Middler’s Wind Beneath My Wings.
That’s it! Now when you talk to your client it may not all go this way but if they ask you, you now know the order! Once these formalities are over the party turns into a mixture of a 8th grade dance & a Wedding. Lots of music & ACTIVITIES for the KIDS as well as Music & Activities for the Adults are a great plan of attack. Activities such as Huggie Bear, Coke & Pepsi, Limbo, Air Band, & Twist Contest, you can even do Vinnies famous MUMMY WRAP! Dances like the Cha Cha slide & even the Electric slide work well too. Make sure YOU DO A LOT OF STUFF, unless your client says NO. Make sure your great personality shines and all will go well!
CANDLE LIGHTING CEREMONY GUIDE
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE,…….WILL EVERYONE PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS.
GOOD (AFTERNOON/EVENING) LADIES & GENTLEMEN, MY NAME IS ___________________
FROM THE PROS & ON BEHALF OF ___________ & ___________ I’D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU
NAME OF HALL
AT THIS TIME IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE TO INTRODUCE OUR HOST & HOSTESS
______________ & _______________________ AND NOW OUR (Bar/Bat) MITZVFAS
BROTHERS & SISTERS _________________________________________________
Have everyone stand………….
NOW LADIES & GENTKEMEN LETS HEAR IT FOR OUR (Bar/Bat) mitzvah___________________
Have the entire family stand behind the cake. Arrange beforehand with the Photographer the best place to stand.
Write down the number of candles for the next section.
You may be seated…….. AT THIS TIME I’D LIKE TO INTRODUCE SOME VERY SPECIAL
PEOPLE TO LIGHT CANDLED IN HONOR OF OUR (BAR/BAT) MITZVFA. WHEN I CALL YOUR
NAME PLEASE COME UP AND LIGHT A CANDLE.
Suggested order of candle lighting follows. Fill in the Blanks. Some adaptation may need to be made. When introducing people say:”I’d like to call up…..or let’s have a nice hand for…or mat I introduce to you……
Maternal Grandparents ___________________________________________________________
Paternal Grandparents ___________________________________________________________
Great grandparents ___________________________________________________________
Great Aunts & Uncles ____________________________________________________________
Aunts & Uncles ________________________________________________________________
Candle lighting guide PAGE 2
Other Relatives ________________________________________________________________
Family or Parent’s Friends _____________________________________________________
Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s Friends _____________________________________________________
Brothers & Sisters ________________________________________________________________
Mother & Father ________________________________________________________________
(optional) and now to light a candle in honor & memory of those who could not be with us today. (Turn down music a bit or play a special song)
AND NOW TO LIGHT A FINAL CANDLE _____________________________________________
At this point dim the lights sing happy Bar/Bat mitzvah have the child make a wish and then blow out the candles. Now is a GREAT time for a HORA (Hava-Nagila).
Any questions just place a question or comment here.